What is mediation?

The Mediation Master

“Solving a conflict is not about a solution in the first place. The first and most important step is bringing clarity to confusion. Only when you are in clarity, then look for a solution or balance that doesn’t confuse even more than the conflict that you are trying to solve.”

Mediation is a confidential, voluntary and self-determined process, where a neutral, independent and impartial mediator, help the parties to resolve their conflict thanks to the use of techniques of specialized communication and negotiation.

Definition by Stephan DOUKHOPELNIKOFF in RETURN TO PEACE, Guide for the mediator, Amazon, link

Why Mediation?

Mediation is the best method to solve a conflict from within.

A conflict is not necessarily solved from the outside by a judgement through a court or arbitration. This is a temporary enforced solution. And can be source of further conflict.

Mediation is a facilitated negotiation. Mediation is a voluntary process through which the parties come to a solution assisted by the mediator. This solution can only be reached by a truly neutral, independent and impartial mediator with the qualities required.

Advantages of Mediation

In general faster than litigation.

The agenda is determined by the mediator and
the parties. They are free to plan their agenda.

Less expensive than litigation by direct and indirect costs.

Mediation can be done by a fixed price or an hourly fee (hours to be estimated in advance and if
necessary extended in agreement with the parties).

Parties can decide themselves what is the best and the second best (BATNA) solution.It is confidential contrary to litigation where what is revealed in court is public.

So their ‘privacy’ is more respected.Third parties are not involved or informed through media etc.


Gives more liberty to organise together with the parties.

The parties are free to chose the mediator.

The mediation process is dynamic and ‘in the now’.

Through and in court, there is only a very small chance to really ‘win’. Unless the case is simply about ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Real win is when both parties benefit. When rules have to be respected and followed, like in court proceedings and litigation, there is already conflict besides the conflict it self.

Nothing in Life is static. Life is dynamic.

Relationships between people are dynamic.Rules, laws and ‘old’ agreements are static. By their ‘nature’ they already bear conflict. This besides the conflict that needs to be resolved. For example lawyers discussing about the applicable rules, the competence of the court besides the ‘real’ conflict between the parties or the problem to be solved.

Mediation is, as Life, dynamic and positive because mediation is ‘in the now’.

No third party, like a judge, is ‘forced’ to pronounce a judgment where there is a winner or a loser or where mostly both parties lose.This third party, judge or arbitrator, is forced to judge by and through rules.